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Andrea M. photography  

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The circle of present and past

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 25, 2007, 12:31 PM


Teared between present and past
A couple of months ago, I thought I have everything, but then, this destiny has taken everything from me. It's like it took one diamond from me and gave me another, and very soon, I realized I got my happiness... my everything back.

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But, I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothing is fine... I'm torn


But, I don't want to repeat my past, because this time, I don't want to be the one who won't know how return the love. And that's why I guess it's finally time for me to leave this life and to do things I always wanted to do, to simply leave everything behind and never return again, because if my life can't be beautiful, I'll try to make it beautiful for the others. For the innocent ones...

=Buntovnik86, thank you... For being that special someone and for showing me the right road. I'll always keep you in my heart, and I truly hope you're happy somewhere if both of us can't be.
~igs, and thank you, for being what you really are, for being that special friend and for always bringing smile to my face. From all my real life friends, I appreciate you the most, and I always will.

Yes, guys, this is seriously my last day here... Tomorrow is even my 2 years anniversary, and you know how they say that everything good has to come to an end... Well, if any of you already found that special something or someone in your lives, grab it guys, and don't let it go... And don't forget to appreciate every day like it's your last one, because tomorrow, you may loose everything you ever loved... Just like me.
And of course, thanks to everyone who gave me their time and who ever viewed my work. You're my true blinking starts, and that's what will always keep me going. Thank you once again, and I wish you Happy Holidays, a lot of incredible moments in your lives and everything you ever wanted, guys. You're wonderful people, and a wonderful team, and that's indeed something I'll always appreciate.
Truly yours,
Andrea.
:heart:

So, I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there, and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins, and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch... I'm torn

So, Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas, guys... I truly hope you'll have a good one :hug:.
---
:heart:
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
Ooh baby
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is...
You

:heart:

Got attacked by a script kiddieYes, that's right, a skiddie decided to fool around with me and because of that I keep receiving php forms (especially here on my dA account), where I should, obviously, type in my information so the dumbass could "hack" my account. Well, let me tell you something, skiddie... You decided to fool around with a person who spends at least 8 hours a day on her computer, and that's why I'm not falling on such cheap tricks. I guess you'll have to think of something better because I got over those stupid tricks like... 5 years ago. So, fuck you, you h4X0r wannabe, and show me what you really know.
---
Ridiculous, I know.

Not just another anti-holiday rantI guess it was one of those days when I was traveling home from the appointment, and every time I go anywhere, I usually carry my mp3 player with myself, but today, I found myself completely stuck with my own thoughts. So, I turned off my mp3 player and started staring at all those city lights and decorated streets in the middle of this holiday season. A couple of minutes later, something strange and somehow inaccurate caught my attention, and since I was sitting in a tram, I saw an old lady climbing up the tram stairs with bags full of something. At first I thought she was in the shopping and in a search for presents for her grandchildren, but then I realized that those bags were full of cat food tins, and I think she had a couple of bags full of it. Of course, I stand up and allowed her my seat, and she simply looked at me with her deep, blue eyes, thanked me and sat down. The tram started moving again, and I noticed that, while she was looking outside at all those city lights just like I was a couple of minutes before, she started crying. I don't know, but I think I felt too guilty at the moment... yes, that is the right word- guilt, to ask her if she's o.k., and I just kept staring at those tears that were slowly flowing down her wrinkled face. At that exact moment, I felt like something simply hit me, and that the easiest thing would be to start crying with her, watching at the contrast between those vivid city lights and the darkness that surrounded her, while the tram started getting even more and more empty with the every next minute. Finally, I got the courage to ask her if she's o.k., and she just answered: "Nothing is wrong, except life."
I was sorta surprised by her answer, and told her if there's anything I could do, I'll do it, but she just thanked me once again, picked up her bags from the tram floor and left the tram on the next station.

The smallest thing would be to say that I got truly enlightened by that old lady... Actually, I think I started looking at certain things from the completely different perspective, and in the end realized that fake happiness is leading me nowhere. Because true holiday spirit is not made of presents, or your current happiness because of your current achievements. And no, I'm not going to have a Merry Christmas this year and I doubt I ever again will, as long as I know that somewhere in the world, things like
this happen every day, and that somewhere far away or somewhere near me, poor children dream about chocolate or about a teddy bear under their Christmas tree. But, I'm not going to cry... I'm going to protest, and the only, only thing I want for Christmas, is to be blind for only one day so I couldn't see the hate and pain that is surrounding me anymore.
Wish me luck, guys!

:heart:

Thumbs


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This CSS was written by @sine-out (with some ideas with thanks from ^thespook) and can be found here, this code is free for anyone to use and modify as per the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License..


  • Mood: Love

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 17
  • Current Residence: Europe - Croatia - Zagreb
  • Print preference: Matte prints
  • Interests: Photography, modeling, technology
  • Favourite movie: Resident Evil (1, 2 & 3)
  • Favourite band or musician: It changes with the time
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock, Electronic
  • Favourite poet or writer: Dean R. Koontz
  • Favourite photographer: Stephan Lupino, Chris Weeks, André Brito, Guy Bourdin...
  • Favourite style or digital art: Photography & photomanipulation, 3D
  • Operating System: Windows XP, but would like to have Unix/Linux
  • MP3 player of choice: Mp3 & Winamp
  • Wallpaper of choice: Lingerie Part IV by Butchy
  • Skin of choice: Mine
  • Favourite game: Gran turismo 2, Dino crisis 2, Resident evil 1, 2 & 3...
  • Favourite gaming platform: Playstation
  • Personal Quote: "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
  • Tools of the Trade: Olympus SP-510 UZ, Corel Paint Shop Pro X, Corel Photo Paint 12, Photoshop CS2

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

`suzi9mm:iconsuzi9mm: Apr 13, 2008, 12:00:02 PM
girl, i read your blog and woah...your relationship issiues are really out there ! the situation seems to change every week :D

thats not negative, just wanted to tell ya :)

take care
~Rain8a:iconRain8a: Apr 10, 2008, 7:00:20 PM Mood: Joy
hey you have a pretty awesome gallery!!
*milads2001:iconmilads2001: Apr 3, 2008, 5:37:12 PM
So lovely!

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~MRcool2035:iconMRcool2035: Feb 29, 2008, 4:16:50 PM
[link]

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~Teknowizard:iconTeknowizard: Feb 24, 2008, 1:16:26 PM
Hi Andrea, Just thought I'd drop in and say HI and let ya know I'm back around. Been missing all my friends here and finally getting somewhere in rebuilding a life for myself. Gonna take me forever to catch up on everyones new works... LOL

Randall

--
Since life hasn't let me change my stars, I'm weaving new stars to change my fate.
~Bitter-Symphony:iconBitter-Symphony: Feb 23, 2008, 5:50:16 PM
Wonderful gallery. & I'm in love with your avatar. :love:


:rose:


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But his voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound..
~synthesys:iconsynthesys: Feb 17, 2008, 7:16:32 PM
lovely works here XD

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IMEDIA.COM
~Teomy:iconTeomy: Jan 6, 2008, 11:14:30 AM
waa mala obozavamtvoju galeriju!upravo lgeda neke slikice..

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inace..kuham perem cistim peglam sivam-zenite me!

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`b0x0rz:iconb0x0rz: Dec 31, 2007, 4:48:50 PM
:blowkiss: :b0x0rz:

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as described by =rockfaerie666
~rightdirection:iconrightdirection: Dec 28, 2007, 3:00:00 PM
pozdraaaaaaaaaf!

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~Kateri12:iconKateri12: Dec 24, 2007, 10:42:34 AM
hello!

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[link] My website
[link] Myspace... ADD ME!
*farcry77:iconfarcry77: Dec 23, 2007, 8:40:15 PM
:nod:

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=rockfaerie666:iconrockfaerie666: Dec 23, 2007, 6:32:35 PM
Evo ga, poslano :D.

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Educate yourself; ... & ...
~Eaglesfan36:iconEaglesfan36: Dec 23, 2007, 6:00:46 PM
ok, thx! al nema zurbe. kad uhvatis vremena.
=rockfaerie666:iconrockfaerie666: Dec 23, 2007, 5:47:57 PM
O pa hvala, hvala :bow:. I stvarno sorry zbog onakvog odlaska, javila bih ti se da sam mogla :(. Pričat ću ti što je bilo, tj. poslat ću ti još note s objašnjenjem...

:hug:

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Educate yourself; ... & ...
~Eaglesfan36:iconEaglesfan36: Dec 23, 2007, 5:11:28 PM Mood: Wow!
sad kad sam napokon pogledo sve slike u galeriji mogu samo rec fenomenalno!
=rockfaerie666:iconrockfaerie666: Dec 23, 2007, 3:19:49 PM
Thank you, it's appreciated.
:highfive:

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Educate yourself; ... & ...
*farcry77:iconfarcry77: Dec 23, 2007, 2:10:50 AM
Hay :wave:
Good work indeed !!!
You are featured here

[link]

--
Freedom of speech is not for the thought you love, it's for the thought you hate-Larry Flint
=rockfaerie666:iconrockfaerie666: Dec 21, 2007, 1:42:09 PM
Sure thing ;).

--
Educate yourself; ... & ...
~rightdirection:iconrightdirection: Dec 21, 2007, 10:16:30 AM
hej! fala ti za fav!:)

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....stronger than all....

....powered by B-NULA STUDIO, be sure to check out this [link] ....
=rockfaerie666:iconrockfaerie666: Dec 20, 2007, 3:18:07 PM
You're welcome :).
And Happy holidays to you too :highfive:.

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Educate yourself; ... & ...
~robirr:iconrobirr: Dec 20, 2007, 3:16:06 AM
no problem :D ufjek

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¢Deimus:iconDeimus: Dec 19, 2007, 6:54:33 PM
Thank you very much for the +devwatch, I appreciate it! Happy holidays too!

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"Art is either plagiarism or revolution." - Paul Gauguin (1848 - 1903)